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U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service adds “Crypto Degen” to Endangered Species List

Please follow us on Twitter at @thedailysybil here for more satirical cryptocurrency articles

DENVER - The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service this week announced that three different species of “cryptocurrency degen” found mostly in places like the c/CryptoCurrency subreddit and twitter will receive protection under the Endangered Species Act.

The word degen , short for degenerate gambler, is widely used in the cryptocurrency sector to describe traders interested in risky, unaudited cryptocurrency projects. It is often associated with pump and dump price schemes and early adopters of new protocols that lack any real use-case.

The three “cryptocurrency degen” species identified for protection include the crypto influencer, crypto bro, and the majestic North American NFT expert.

These species will join five other threatened and endangered “cryptocurrency degen” species currently under consideration for special protective designation. The ungainly yet majestic “crypto degen” species is currently viewed by many experts to be on the brink of extinction - especially in North America.

Among those threats posed to the species are Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) enforcement activities, ponzi schemes, other members of their species and the general inability of “cryptocurrency degens” to find a mate.

At the most recent “ETHDenver” conference researchers from the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service were on site to attach tagging devices to dozens of “cryptocurrency degens” - in an effort to better monitor the health and behavior patterns of the species.

Cryptocurrency degens often remain burrowed in their parents’ basements for years, rarely emerging except in brief instances to do things like forage for DoorDash orders at their front door or attend ETHDenver.

Now that “cryptocurrency degens” have been added to the endangered species list, Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) agents will only be able to serve Wells Notices to a limited subset of the species during a few months of the year to allow time for the species to recover.

Please follow us on Twitter at @thedailysybil here for more satirical cryptocurrency articles

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