top of page

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Thanks for submitting!

Serial Killer Frustrated He Must Spend Eternity In Hell With Do Kwon

Fiery Darkness of Hell - Jolted awake by the painful screams of millions of demons & condemned souls, Bill found himself in Hell this Tuesday after being executed by the state of Mississippi for his role in a killing spree. Bill was not surprised to learn he would face an eternity of damnation for his crimes, but had mixed feelings that he would be sharing his circle of Hell with Terra Labs founder Do Kwon.

“Look I don’t disagree that he absolutely belongs here, I had a bunch of money in Anchor myself” Bill said, pausing to remove some burnt flesh from his skull, “but I guess I just didn’t think in my wildest dreams that I’d spend all eternity listening to Do Kwon obviously misrepresent things.”

“Things really started off on the wrong foot” Bill said, briefly ducking as a winged demon swooped down through the fiery sky “at my first torture session right before Do Kwon and I were enclosed in our respective iron maidens, he turned to me and said ‘steady lads.’”

Bill said rolling his one remaining eye then continued “even worse he keeps telling me that Terra 2.0 is bigger than ever and everyone on Cosmos wants to integrate with it, I just don’t get why he tries to sell me this nonsense, we are already in Hell.”

When reached for questioning, Joseph Stalin, the head of human capital for Hell did acknowledge that “we have received some complaints from our residents regarding Do Kwon and we are doing our best to place him in a circle where he can cause the least disruption.”

“I think the worst part of all of it” Bill said with a sigh, “he insists everyone calls him stablekwon” referring to the disgraced Terra Lab Founder’s twitter handle, “if there is one nickname Do Kwon doesn’t deserve it’s anything with the word stable in it.”

At press time, Do was attempting to explain to the condemned spirits around him how “he had nothing to do with Basis Cash”

If you enjoyed this article please retweet it on Twitter ; this is incredibly helpful to The Daily Sybil :

65 views0 comments
bottom of page