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NY Times Accidentally Publishes Sam Bankman-Fried’s Obituary Ahead of Schedule

NEW YORK - In an error that has embarrassed America’s most well-known newspaper, Sam Bankman-Fried’s obituary was published ahead of schedule by the NY Times.

The mostly positive obituary called SBF an “incredible representation of effective altruism” who “made some mistakes in his attempt to do good for the world.”

In recent days Sam Bankman-Fried’s status as Democratic Party mega-donor has placed increased scrutiny on the relationship between political donations and SEC enforcement activities. SBF’s cryptocurrency platform FTX filed for bankruptcy days after an election in which he pumped roughly $40 million into Democratic candidates nationally.

The premature release of SBF’s obituary follows other recent embarrassments for the NY Times, including the publishing of what many have argued is a puff piece for the accused crypto scammer in the days following the collapse of FTX.

The NY Times obituary notes that SBF’s death was the result of him shooting himself in the back of the head 3 times in an all-too-common incident; likely as a result of the shame he felt for the implosion of FTX.

When pressed further for answers, a spokesman for the NY Times noted that “in an unfortunate scheduling mishap, one of our interns put this on the schedule a few months ahead of schedule, we apologize for this oversight and hope that SBF remains okay for the next few months.”

A few well-known figures have weighed in on this mistake, including Chairman Gensler who commented that “this sort of sloppiness is unacceptable, the NY Times needs to get their act together, nos omnes sequi consilium.”

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