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Ledger Launches Line Of Mattresses With Built-In Cryptocurrency Wallet Functionality

Please follow us on Twitter at @thedailysybil here for more satirical cryptocurrency articles

Santa Clara, CA - Ledger, a leading cold storage crypto wallet provider, has launched a new mattress line with built-in cryptocurrency self-custody functionality; which it believes will take cryptocurrency adoption mainstream.

Bitcoin, ethereum and other cryptocurrencies have exploded this week amidst a banking crisis that could lead to a cascade of bank failures across the world. Many crypto enthusiasts believe that amidst this uncertainty in the financial sector, now is the time to onboard more mainstream users into the cryptocurrency ecosystem.

Capitalizing on this moment, Ledger has decided to launch a new line of mattresses with built in self-custody functionality for both digital & physical assets.

“When banks collapsed during the Great Depression, Americans brought their hard earned money home and self-custodied it safely in their mattresses” Ledger CEO Pascal Gauthier noted in an interview with the Daily Sybil before continuing “when the collapse of the banking system triggers yet another depression, Ledger will be there with a tried and true method of storing your assets: mattresses.”

Ledger has launched two new mattresses to its roster today; the MattressNano and the MattressXtreme. The MattressNano is a comfortable twin that can be easily moved into a parent’s basement, while the MattressXtreme is a full mattress versatile enough for both use at home and more unusual locations like abandoned warehouses or under bridges.

The Ledger mattresses are compatible with Bitcoin, Ethereum, Solana and other well known protocols & come with a 2-inch gel memory foam top layer as well. It also has a small compartment to store other personal valuables like precious metals, stamps and cigarettes.

“When my mom’s boyfriend, Ron, let me move in to their attic I was happy to have a place to stay” crypto enthusiasts & unsecured Celsius creditor, Harry Roberts, noted before going on to say “I’m pretty sure Ron’s been stealing my weed, but now with the MattressNano I feel secure knowing that when I’m out and about both my Bitcoin and my stash is safe.”

Please follow us on Twitter at @thedailysybil here for more satirical cryptocurrency articles

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