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Chairman Gary Gensler attacks Coinbase HQ wearing titanium-armored mech suit

SAN FRANCISCO - It was a chaotic scene this Thursday when Chariman Gary Gensler attacked the Coinbase Headquarters building wearing a titanium-armored mech suit.

Sources from within Coinbase said that a visibly shaken CEO Brian Armstrong could be seen attempting to direct employees to one of the many staircases that lead to a fortified bomb shelter - a shelter that had been built under the HQ for just such situation.

“We’ve prepared for this team - this is why we did all those practice drills” Brian is reported to have said to panicked employees.

As Chairman Gensler used the massive titanium fists of his mech suit to punch his was through a reinforced concrete wall of the HQ, he could be heard saying in an eerie tone “I’m coming to see if you have a license to operate that stock exchange, Briiiiaaaaannnn” while cackling uncontrollably.

From the safety of the bunker under the Coinbase HQ, Brian took to twitter later in the day to express his dissatisfaction with Chairmen Gensler writing “Regulation through the use of titanium armored mech suits has a terrible chilling effect, and rhetoric matters - we’ve already seen a huge amount of crypto talent, issuers and startups flee in terror after facing similar attacks.

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